


Torches

by goldgalaxytea



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aged Up Karkat, Aged Up Sollux, Crack, Crack Fic, Cursed, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, Minecraft, Minecraft Torch, Old Fic, Old Writing, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, all characters are 18+, inappropriate use of a minecraft torch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldgalaxytea/pseuds/goldgalaxytea
Summary: Sollux gets a new toy and surprises Karkat with it.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 9





	Torches

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago as a joke with a friend, so this is VERY old and VERY cursed, ENJOY LMAO

\- - twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 4:20 - -

**TA:** key kk

**CG:** WHAT DO YOU WANT FUCK ASS?

**TA:** come over to my hiive

**CG:** WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO THAT?

**TA:** ii got somethiing that ii want to 2how you

**CG:** WELL WHAT IS IT?

**TA:** iit2 a surpriise a22hole

**CG:** I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU THINK THAT I WOULD DROP WHATEVER IT IS IM DOING JUST BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TOO

**CG:** I MEAN SERIOUSLY

**CG:** I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO

**GA:** I CANT JUST DROP EVERYTHING BECAUSE SOME STUPID BEE FUCKER WANTS ME TO COME OVER TO HIS HIVE AND WONT EVEN TELL ME WHY

**GA:** THATS JUST STUPID.

**TA:** fiir2t off

**TA:** you don't need to bee 2o rude about iit

**CG:** WELL ITS NOT MY FAULT IM TRYING TO GET STUFF DONE WHILE SOME ASSHOLE KEEPS BOTHERING ME

**TA:** al2o

**TA:** bee fucker? really?

**TA:** ii2 that the best you could come up wiith?

**CG:** LIKE I JUST SAID

**CG:** IM VERY BUSY

**TA:** how about iin2tead of bee fucker

**CG:** IM NOT GOING TO WASTE MY VALUABLE TIME TO ENTERTAIN EVERY SHIT HEAD WHO COMES TO ME SAYING THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW ME

**CG:** LIKE SERIOUSLY

**TA:** why not it be

**CG:** THE LAST TIME SOMEONE TOLD ME TO GO OVER TO THEIR HIVE IT ENDED PRETTY BADLY

**TA:** crab fucker

**CG:** PEOPLE JUST CANT FUCKING RESPECT ME ENOUGH TO LET ME ENJOY MYSELF

**CG:** BECAUSE SERIOUSLY

**CG:** WAIT A MINUTE

**CG:** HOLY SHIT ARE YOU TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME

**CG:** IM YELLING AT YOU

**CG:** YOURE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO ME

**CG:** NOT BE TRYING TO GET INSIDE OF MY PANTS

**CG:** ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?

**TA** : kk iif you dont 2hut up then ii wiil blow up your hu2ktop again

**CG:** I DONT KNOW WHY YOU LIKE TO DO THAT SO MUCH

**CG:** ITS NOT FUNNY =

**CG:** DO YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS

**CG:** IM UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE SOME FUCK ASS WOKE UP AND DECIDED TO BE AN ASSHOLE

**CG:** I MEAN SERIOUSLY

**CG:** DO YOU EAT LIKE ASSHOLE FLAKES IN THE MORNING

**TA:** actually

**TA:** ii dont do much iin the morning

**TA:** iim usually two tiired from the niight before

**TA:** ;)

**CG:** OKAY

**CG:** I DID NOT NEED THAT

**CG:** YOU ARE DISGUSTING

**CG:** KEEP ANY AND ALL BUCKETS AWAY FROM ME

**CG:** THIS RULE IS EFFECTIVE STARTING NOW

**CG:** AND IT WILL LAST FOREVER

**CG:** NOT THAT IT MATTERS ANY WAY

**CG:** NO WAY YOU WOULD EVEN BE ABLE TO GET WITHIN A 10 METER RADIUS OF MY BULGE

**TA:** oh really?

**TA:** ii2 thiis a challenge?

**TA:** becau2e thii2 2ound2 liike a challenge to me

**CG:** YEAH SURE

**CG:** IF IT GETS YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE

**CG:** IM NOT EVEN WORRIED

**CG:** THERES NO POSSIBLE WAY THAT YOU COULD EVEN REMOTELY SEDUCE ME

**TA:** you dare iin2ult my 2eductiivene22

**TA:** thii2 iis defiiniitely a challenge now

**TA:** thii2 ii2 2o on riight now kk

**TA:** ii hope you are prepared

**TA:** you know what?

**TA:** 2iince you wont come over to my hiive

**TA:** ii gue22 iill ju2t have to go over to your2

**TA:** iill make 2ure to briing along the 2uprii2e ii had for you too

**TA:** 2ee you iin a liitle biit

**TA:** ;)

**CG:** OH GOD

**CG:** YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS

\- - twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 4:30 - -

**CG:** OH FUCK

**CG:** YOU ARE SERIOUS

**CG:** GOD DAMMIT SOLLUX

**CG:** GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE NOW

**CG:** SOLLUX

**CG:** IM SO SCREWED ARENT I?

**CG:** FUCK

Karkat pulled away from his husk top when he heard a knock at the door. He sighs and pauses the rom com he was watching. _Why does everyone have to be so bothersome?_ _They always disturb you when you have important things to do. Can't you just have one day to yourself?_ The mutant blood mumbled curses at the yellow blooded asshole as he made his way towards the door.

The knocking grew louder.  _ Sheesh, the asshole has no patience. _ He goes to open the door but before he is able to even touch the door knob the door blows open itself. And there stands the asshole with his stupid piioasics flashing everywhere.  _ Fucking show off.  _ Karkat considers maybe taking time to admire how his flush crush looked today but instead decided to flip his shit because  _ HOLY FUCK HE JUST BROKE MY GOD DAMN DOOR. _

"HOLY SHIT! WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?" Karkat crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to make himself appear as angry and pissed off as he could. It wasn't very hard to do. Meanwhile the asshole who just broke his goddamn door (though he must admit, he looked pretty good doing it) was just standing there watching him. It was quiet for a moment. He seemed to be considering something. Then he smiled a shit eating grin at the angry troll.

"kk are you ready for thii2?" Sollux didn't wait for him to reply as he pulled something out from behind his back. _Holy shit, how did I not notice that sooner? Stupid Sollux distracting me with his looks. Well, I’m not exactly complaining here._ _Maybe just a little bit, but not entirely. I mean because holy shit he's hot._

Okay he should probably be paying attention, not daydreaming about his best friend. Not that it hasn't been fun, but he was very curious what the object Sollux was holding. It wasn't very large, but it wasn't exactly small either. It was rectangle shaped and it looked....pixelated?  _ Yeah...I have no idea what the fuck this is. _

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?" Karkat questioned the shit head in front of him. Sollux just laughed.

"2hee2h man, that 2ure took you awhiile to re2pond. Were you dii2tracted by my bee-uotfil face." The mustard blood replied with a smirk on his face.

"NO"  _ yes _ "I WAS WONDERING WHAT THIS WORTHLESS PIECE OF JUNK IS DOING IN MY HIVE."

"well fiir2t off. iits not worthle22. also iits called a torch. Apparently iits from some alien game called minecra-"

"I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THE THING IN YOUR HANDS-"

"iit2 a torch."

"I DONT CARE. I WAS REFERRING TO YOU FUCK FACE."

The room was silent.

"2o you wanna fuck face? tha2 2ome pretty iinterii2ting shiit kk. but iif you really want two."  _ Holy shit, when did he get so close? _

"YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME? YOU JUST BROKE MY DOOR AMD YOU DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE. SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND DOIN-" His angry shouting was suddenly silenced. By what you ask? Sollux's lips. Yep, internal fangirl time. Karkat was being kissed by his flush crush. He didn’t care if this was super cliche, because _ holy shit, he's kissing me. _

The kiss is full of passion and love and Karkat kisses back with the same amount of force. Maybe even more force because holy shit he's waited so long for this. Eventually though he had to pull away because of lack of oxygen.  _ Stupid lungs _ .

"holy 2hiit kk. you just dont know when to 2hut up do you? You kept rambling on. iim pretty 2ure my ears were about to fall off. Do ii need to carry around duct tape all the time just 2o ii can get you to 2hu-" Karkat silenced him by pulling him in for another kiss, though he quickly pulled away.

"HEY FUCK ASS. NOW WHO'S THE ONE THAT TALKS TOO MUCH? ALSO YOU KNOW THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO SHUT PEOPLE UP OTHER THAN DUCT TAPE."

Sollux smirked, he could see where this was going.

"of yeah? then why dont you 2how me kk."

Now it was Karkat’s turn to smirk.

"GLADY." He grabbed Sollux by his shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. It started off pretty sweet and nice but then it quickly escalated into a full on make out session.  _ Oops. _

Sollux pushed Karkat back until he hit a wall and then he used his body to pin the mutant blood there so he couldn't move away. Not that Karkat wanted to, he was seriously enjoying himself right now. Karkat was pulled from his thoughts when Sollux suddenly grabbed his horns. He let out what sounded like a mix between a squeak and a moan. The squeak was manly as fuck though. Oh who are we kidding, there was no manliness in that squeak. Not even an inch of manliness for miles.    
  
Sollux started gently rubbing Karkat's small nubby horns, who tried to stop his moans but it's kind of hard to do when there was a tongue in his mouth.  _ WAIT WHAT. WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? _ Karkat really has to pay attention more. Their tongues clashed together, fighting for dominance. It was quite the battle indeed. Sollux only won in the end though because he cheated. He palmed Karkat through his pants, which caused him to moan pretty loudly and ended up causing him to lose the battle. Not that it didn't feel good or anything, it's just that the asshole took advantage of the situation to win. Sollux was an asshole. But Karkat was so flushed for that asshole.    
  
Karkat let the battle go and Sollux's tongue explored its newly claimed territory. He supposed he could let someone else be the leader for once. Karkat's hands made their way up to tangle in his hair. Sollux pulled away and moved towards his neck. He bit, kissed and sucked on his neck, leaving marks everywhere. Eventually he sucked on a spot that had him squirming in pleasure. Karkat wanted him and he wanted him now. Sollux started palming him again, a little more forceful this time. It surprised him, which caused him to slightly jump and grab Sollux's horns. A little more forceful than needed to be honest. Sollux hadn't expected that either and it caused him to bite Karkat's neck a little too hard. They both froze as candy red blood dripped down Karkat's neck. Karkat prepared to start yelling at him, but before he could speak Sollux reached his hand down into Karkat's pants and started rubbing his bulge. Karkat's bulge seemed pretty happy with this and curled around his hand. Karkat completely forgot what he was going to say and moaned embarrassingly loud.   
  
Sollux, seeing that Karkat was calmed down, started tending to the wound. He licked all the blood away and left kisses everywhere he could. Meanwhile, Karkat felt like he was going to explode. If Sollux didn't fuck him soon he was gonna just rip all his clothes off and ride him like there's no tomorrow. Sollux seemed to catch onto that thought and started to pull Karkat's shirt off. As soon as his chest was exposed Sollux's hands traveled all over his bare skin. It left tingles all over.   
  
Karkat was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't notice Sollux move downwards and pull his pants down. However, Karkat did notice when Sollux put his mouth on his bulge. Karkat's knees buckled a little and he grabbed onto Sollux's horns to stay balanced, causing Sollax to moan around Karkat's bulge. The moan sent shivers down Karkat's spine because holy fuck he could feel the vibrations and it felt good. Karkat accidentally bucked, subconsciously trying to get closer to the pleasure. So Sollux held Karkat's hips so that he didn't accidentally suffocate him. Sollux was bobbing his head at a teasing pace. And Karkat really didn't like that. He wanted him to stop teasing him. So Karkat started rubbing Sollux's horns, which caused him to moan around his bulge again. Karkat continued to rub the bifurcated male's horns until he decided to stop teasing and give some proper head. Which didn't take long at all. Soon Sollux was bobbing his head at a quick speed and it just all felt so good. Pretty soon though Karkat felt a pressure build up inside of him. Karkat was about to come and Sollux could tell. So he quickly pulled off of Karkat's bulge.   
  
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FUCKASS?"   
  
Sollux smirked.   
  
"Calm your 2hiit kk. We wiill get to the fuckiing of the ass later."   
  
Karkat rolled his eyes.    
  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT-"   
  
He was cut off by Sollux putting two fingers in his mouth.   
  
"2uck." He commanded. After a little persuasion Karkat gave into the yellow blood's command. Karkat decided to have a little fun with this and made sure he did it as seductively as possible. From the look on Sollux's face, he assumed he was doing a pretty good job of it. After another moment of that Sollux pulled his hand away. Sollux then quickly discarded Karkat's pants and underwear and his own shirt and tossed them out of the way. Sollux positioned Karkat down on his hands and knees and reached over and grabbed something.   
  
"WHAT ARE YOU-"    
  
Karkat jumped when he felt something poking at his nook.   
  
"Relax, kk iits only my finger." Slowly Sollux eased a finger in. He moved it about to test the waters. And when it appeared Karkat had adjusted to the intrusion, he slowly slid it out and then pushed it back in. He kept this up, going at a steady pace. After a bit though he added a second finger. Karkat tensed but then quickly relaxed. The pleasure out weighing the strange feeling of Sollux's fingers inside of him. Soon after he began scissoring him. And then soon after that he added a third finger. Meanwhile Karkat was a moaning mess and with Sollux's fingers pumping in and out of him at a fast pace the pleasure quickly started to become too much. Karkat felt his nook tighten around Sollux's fingers. And with that Sollux took his fingers out of Karkat's nook.   
  
"SOLLUX YOU ASSHOLE I-nghhh" Karkat moaned. Sollux had grabbed his bulge to calm him down.   
  
"Seriiously kk, 2top freakiing out about everythiing. Besiide2, here ii2 where we get to have 2ome fun wiith the new toy ii got~" Sollux held the strange item up to Karkat's nook. A 'torch' he had called it. Well it didn't look like any sort of torch Karkat had seen before. Karkat held his breath as Sollux slowly eased it into his wet nook. It felt a little weird because he wasn't used to the feeling of something so large being inserted into him, but it wasn't unpleasant. Karkat heard a soft click and  _ ohhhhhhhh yes~ _

The torch started to vibrate and it sent waves of pleasure all throughout his body. After a minute or so Sollux pulled it out slightly and then quickly thrusted it back in. While at the same time stroking Karkat's bulge. In response, Karkat moaned embarrassingly loud and Sollux chuckled in response.   
  
"You enjoyiing your2elf kk?"   
  
"Ohhhh-F-FUCK-nghhhh-YOU." Karkat managed to gasp out between moans. Sollux laughed.   
  
"We'll ii2n't iit kiind of the other way around?"    
  
Karkat couldn't replay because Sollux turned the Torch up a notch. Karkat moaned because oh god he was so close again. _ I swears if that asshole pulls away again I’m was gonna be so- _   
  
Sollux pulled the touch out and removed his hand from Karkat's bulge.   
  
_ -pissed. _

  
Before Sollux could react, Karkat turned around and lept at him. The sudden weight crashing into him caused him to fall backwards onto his back and Karkat took the opportunity to pin him by straddling his waist. Sollux rubbed his head.   
  
"Damn kk. iimpatiient much?"   
  
"SHUT UP AND FUCK ME ALREADY."    
  
Sollux was a bit surprised at first but then smirked.   
  
"Gladly." Sollux used his piisonics to quickly take off his pants and underwear. Karkat watched Sollux's bulges slither around happily, no longer confined to the small space they had been stuck in. They were looking for something to enter and lucky for them, Karkat was more than glad to welcome some visitors inside. Karkat got up on his knees and then slowly lowered himself onto one of Sollux's bulges. He slid on easily considering he had been prepped with Sollux's fingers and the torch.   
  
While Sollux's one bulge moved about inside of him, the other wrapped around Karkat's own bulge, which seemed pretty happy to have some contact. Karkat lifted himself up and down on Sollux while he bucked up into him. There was so much pleasure that Karkat's head fell backwards with his mouth wide open. Which was probably not a wise thing to do because the next thing he knew the torch was put into his mouth. More specificity, the end that had been inside him. Karkat tried to remove it but Sollux was having none of that. He continued thrusting and Karkat decided to go along with it. It wasn't hurting him or anything, it was just weird tasting himself. But quickly any and all thoughts were forced from his mind because it was just all too much. Karkat felt it all build up and felt like he was gonna explode. He felt so close. And it looked like Sollux was close to. Reaching his end the torch fell out of his mouth and onto the floor with a soft thump. Just a few more thrusts and-   
  
"SOLLUX!!!" Karkat screamed his name as he came, genetic material shooting everywhere. His nook tightening around Sollux's bulge caused him to tip over the edge too.   
  
"Karkat~!" Sollux moaned. He thrusted a bit more to ride out his orgasim. And then stopped moving. Karkat leaned forward and rested on Sollux's chest. And then he realized something. There was genetic material everywhere, because they hadn't used a bucket. He was going to yell at the yellow blood for making such a mess, but was too tired from the events that had just happened, so instead he whispered.    
  
"Flushed for you." Karkat felt arms wrap around him and heard a soft whispered response.   
  
"Flu2hed for you two kk." And with that, they both fell asleep in each other's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this, I'm so sorry💜


End file.
